A mush better defense
So it’s been a while, heh. Hope you didn’t miss us.
According to our last post, we were in the middle of a siege at our large phallic metaphor fueled by our hearth of sin. Being beset by buxom Mousies means we need to harden our resolve. More specifically, we have Mordred, with her bone summons; Sapphire, armed with magic azure; The Lady of of leadership, sieges and swordsmanship. and Lily with her wonderful mech of dubious combat ability.
While of course, we have our selection of non-hero units, mostly shroom-based. Bigshrooms represent our best melee fighters at the moment. At their feet, we have scout shroom’s mobility and the leafling’s agility and poison. Otherwise, we have the most basic melee unit for the bulk of our forces, the mushminions.
It appears that we have yet to develop higher technology units in fields outside of scouting. Honestly, aren’t Bigshrooms and mushminions more like worker units? Granted, good scouts let us develop a strategic advantage, with a strong economy. Yet, the counter to economy builds is always aggression. Hopefully, the surplus of strong hero units will make the difference.
Otherwise we may have to use something best kept locked up….
Guys, they have a sniper somewhere.
They can take you out the moment you break out of cover!
Okay, I’ll keep us camouflaged.
Wait, I thought you specialized in buff magic and support?
I’m still a druid babe
It’s a basic ability for druids to stealth in forests, even the non-hero ones.
Alright, we have our reinforcements in position, but our mushies are still taking a beating out there.
Even with Mordred and Sapphire?
They can hold the line, but mushies are still mushies and our druid is stuck on the other side of the battlefield!
Damn it, what the hell do we do?
Well, we can always have our viewers chime in with advice. I’m sure they are pretty good at tactics.
Ah yes the secret and fabled do all the things, how wonderful.
Next idea, please!
I have a telescope, you know, devices for looking at distant objects?
Not sure what sort of mirror and lens contraption I would need to make a heat ray, but I know that it’s not a telescope.
I like going back to Gouda, how about I get right on that-
Don’t you dare! We need to focus and win this battle.
With what power? We already drained everything for that last projection.
Yeah, the crown is showing up as really empty…
Great minds think alike! We need to prevent these craven mice from getting away from the battle! Make sure to take out that healer if we find them!
Alright, I’ll ring Wendy up to set up a cordon.
Cordon? What are we police?
Well, the term actually can apply to any armed combatant forming a barrier to prevent access to or from an area.
Alright, geez don’t all nerd out on me, I was just being smarmy.
Oh a classic move! We have a bunch of convertees in the tower!
Yes, inside the tower. While all our bigshrooms are out in the field fighting in the melee.
But it would be so evil if we did it.
Maybe next time dear…
I’m having the mushminions scavenge whatever prototypes we have.
It’s only enough for the one proof of concept we did! And turning it into a polearm isn’t a middle of battle scale change we can do.
Well having one actually armed mushy is probably better than leaving the research bits to waste?
I’ll make a note of the idea for later I guess….
What about the rune sniper? Their basic abilities would make short work of even a hero!
My buffs will disappear if they take me out!
Not to mention the ease with which they could kill mushminions and these leaf creatures
While mighty, the power of the hearth is being channeled through my armour. If I died- or broke I guess?- we would lose the use of the tower.
I don’t think we’ll be able to hide away the hearth a second time.
Which would be bad.
Yet, even if personally going into combat is dangerous, we recruited mighty heroes to fight in our place!
Hmm, well dear readers, it appears that we may have another option should all else fail. Even if the creature that should not be freed fails to win us the day, then we could gamble it all, double or nothing on Ophelia herself winning the battle. Emphasis on the gamble. Yet perhaps all talk of these emergency tactics should wait until we are in danger of losing.
Down on the front, our fearless general Ceres is holding the line. Without the basis of a well rounded army, she has focused on microing the melee units under her command. Whenever our beloved mushies are damaged by the onslaught of mice, she would order another to take its place.
The front will hold a while longer, but we’ll need to gain the upper hand soon!
Oh yeah, we have a few empty floors we cou-
No! No, no no. We are not going to sacrifice our long-awaited ability to upgrade the tower to win one battle.
If we lose too many floors we might not even be able to build higher technology units for the next battle!
Do we have any idea where the enemy leadership is?
I’ve seen them a few times, but they are deep behind the melee line. Without ranged units, we can’t even harass them without first routing the enemy.
While we have you on the call, we need reinforcements on the west edge.
Mordred! Keep her covered!
Already here! I’m trying to cover Sapphire from sniper fire, but I can’t see the bitch!
I’m neither a General – oof- or a Druid. I can’t command plants!
I can cast some buffs for Ceres to command?
Save it for later, the melee is too tight to slip units past the frontline.
But which one is the question!
I don’t want our poor mushies sacrificed…
I can actually use illusions instead, but not at the scale of a force big enough to cause a retreat.
But it can bait out a shot from the sniper, which I know Hanna can use to find her!
Of course I can.
And so the plan was executed. Hanna generates impressive illusion copies of her and wendy, sending them on a charge against the flank of the enemy lines
And here we see the Rune Sniper in her natural habitat. Miles away from any actual combat, just casually having a smoke while waiting for targets to appear. Oh, and what’s this? Two casters appear out of the forest behind her allies. What will she do I wonder? Will she shoot at the heroes running to an eleventh-hour rescue? Or perhaps she will run?
Stop being mean narrator and just tell us what happens!
Well fine then, just ruin all my setup for the last page and a half of terrible Steve Irwin and Nature Geographic style humour. See if I care.
Hmph I say, Hmph.
She’s going to take the shot!
Of course she is! That doesn’t mean I don’t get to have fun with this job every once in a while. She takes out one of her special marked bullets and fires out a shot that redirects itself in the air and leaves behind a particle trail of ambient red magic.
She’s on the east, up at the frontmost outcropping!
Bugger me sideways, how did ‘ey get an illusionist….
meanwhile in the middle of the trees
You’re not getting away.
Hanna! Be careful.
What starts as a single snowflake materializing underneath Hanna’s leaping foot erupts into an icicle, throwing her forwards. One after another, in a display of monstrous talent and mana reservoir, an icy crust carries Hanna forwards at a speed that is just too fast to be fair for a caster to have.
On the other side of the battlefield, Mordred herself also catches wind of her hated opponent.
I’m going after that harlot!
Wait! We need you on the front line!
Make an opening!
A long extinct Basilisk once traveled north in a world still whole. In these travels, the ambitious monster mated with an elder beast of ice and hatred. Something magical about the love these creatures shared allowed a two sterile creatures to have kinky sex and make a dread Ice Basilisk.
All this to say that the rime breath that the slime hottie let out carried the hints of their dreaded mother’s paralyzing glare. The potent combination of these two ancestral beasts magic creates the peak of unit immobilization magic.
You have five seconds!
Girls make such good support casters.
That was nice!
Wait, I have some more mana left, take this!
A veil of shimmering light plays over Mordred’s supple flesh, before settling into the grace of beauty of a field of invisibility! The blue beauty falls to a knee to catch a breath below the sight lines of annoying huntresses.
Oh I’ll get you some cookies for this!
Back with the dastardly sniper, the ice skating rabbit encircled her in an icy trap. Up the side of the rocks and back down the other, Hanna leaves a high, slippery wall behind the sniper.
You’re trapped now!
Bollocks, at least that mage ran away…
The forces of Irony snap into effect as Mordred Slams down in front of the mouse with a heavy landing. The puffs of snow give way to a slow predatory release of the invisibility covering the face of the vengeful death knight.
We need her alive!
Jotariel? You’re a sword now?
Yeah, some of us didn’t survive the last-
but only so I can punish her later.
The poor sniper slumps down after getting hit once. Her gun falls to the side, and an explosion of rune bullets pop out of her belt like rings from a blue hedge animal. Mordred grabs her ankle to drag the sniper away, whilst Hanna opens a call with Ophi.
The sniper has been dealt with by Jotariel.
Great, I’m adding Wendy to the call.
Sniper is out of the picture, you are free to start the attack.
Hold the line, reinforcements are coming!
For each mouse that falls under leafling poison or blunt force, half score mushminions fall to purchase that brief victory. Ceres does her best to limit casualties, but in a fight this desperate there is little she can do to keep all of our troops alive.
From behind the enemies, a surge of druid buffed minions charge out of stealth and into the most vulnerable and dangerous units that Bleu had unleashed on us. The melee undulates as the mice scramble to fight on all sides.
This is still much too close.
Wait, we have a new viewer message!
No! Do Not! Remember all that talk about that which should not be unleashed! This is that! Do not release the foul demon from his prison! Ophi I see you opening up the keyboard please give some thought to what I said! You can hear me right? You aren’t just ignoring my heartfelt advice? Wait, why am I muted?
Well, I typed it, but nothing is happening.
What is that? No… it can’t be….
From the twisted heart of the tower, sonorous squeaks echo out.
Wait, the mush hero was in the tower this whole time?
It’s a mushminion on a tricycle?
He is a legendary hero from long ago! Just watch!
Ridershroom, charge from the left!
We have a Divershroom? Where is it?
Damage as much armour as you can, starting on the right.
Wielding his daggers as if they were each a blade made from half a pair of scissors, the sole divershroom dives forward and shatters the clothing of the mice. Strands of the fabric waft through the air, and some of it lands on the divershroom’s armour. Unfortunately Life Fibres aren’t a thing in this setting.
I forgot about Ludias.
Hey Lily, is your robot good for combat?
He was cutting trees, so he’s probably around.
The slight echo of his mistress’ command reached the loyal machine at the wood pile, where it was stacking and cutting logs into more usable segments. Deep in it’s cold heart, the distress in Lily’s voice jerks a gear into movement. With a flung axe, the heavy mech charges through the back of the mice army.
With the literally opposite of sneak attack, Ludias physically bodies his way through the gathered troops. The earth shakes at the heavy weight of his steel legs, and the flung bodies of mice finally hitting the ground.
Under the weight of four heroes leading the charge and combining their might, the enemy formation crumbles like cheese. Losses are still high, but now it’s finally not our lovely mushminions taking the losses. Instead we rout the annoying mice and finally claim true victory. Even if we had to release the creature to claim it.
Wait, didn’t they have an assassin? Oh no, we need to check on Ophi!
Thank goodness we won. We’ll have lust for days after this too.
Surely she wouldn’t have waited until after we won to attack?
I’m not an idiot you know, I can tell you are calling me stupid!
I don’t think that’s what he meant…
Well what did he mean then?
In a feat of exceptional reaction speed, Elgor snapped up his flimsy conjured shield against the Ninja’s sudden appearance. While it was designed to protect from experiments gone wrong, it managed to deflect the first strike that would have otherwise gutted him.
Elgor! Get behind me!
With a burst of sin-fueled speed, Ophi shoved herself between the poor academic and the Ninja.
What weapon do you want? Sword form? Gauntlets? Mage Stick?
With a sudden lunge, the Ninja goes for the attack.
However, the moment her feet leave the ground, a thick iron chain with a heavy steel ball wraps around her from behind.
What the hell?
I got her, Steve take her out!
That’s what she gets for ignoring us!
At the first meaty slap upon the ass, the Ninja uses some bullshit get out of jail free ninja move to turn into a cloud of smoke. Which seems really bullshit powerful and why do they get to turn into clouds?
Oh she left her clothing. Huh. Wait, was it some sort of chain escape technique? Kinky…
I’ll tell you when you’re older Steve. Some things you need to level up to achieve.
Guys, she’s escaping out the window!
Oh fuck no! She’s not getting away with hurting my Elgor!
At least she is retreating, I’m not sure I could have captured her again…
She hurt Elgor!
We still won this day, her getting away just means it’s not a full sweep of the enemy.
Also, your Elgor? I’m so proud, you have your first submissive concubine!
And so have we defended the Hearth of Sin against the forces of Bleu’s army. We captured the Rune Sniper, along with a few hundred general mouse units. Perhaps viewers have an idea what we could do with these new prisoners of war?
Lustify a bunch of prisoners and release them! Guerilla slut warfare! They’ll spread rampant lesbianism among the enemy ranks and uh that’ll probably be useful somehow?
ouch, sounds like using biological weapons
I think you may have misinterpreted my idea, I meant to have use a LENS from a telescope to focus the suns rays. Like using a Fresnel lens to burn fire ants. Not to directly burn units, but to ignite the highly flammable wicks of the bombs in giant backpacks full of bombs (just 1 per bomb per backpack would do) causing chain explosions and toppling enemy forces. However in hindsight it may have been better to have Elgor make Molotov Cocktails and have Lily improvise some sorta’ slingshot to fire into the backpacks.
oooh, kinda my bad on that 🙁
-power armour for the others.
Tie those new slave mice up – bondage mice everywhere! The enemy will be demoralized!