Battle for Gouda
War, War never changes. Except when we invented the spear. And when we discovered metallurgy. Not to mention explosives and firearms. Then we had a few big wars and everything got all chill for a while. I guess what I’m saying is that war has changed a great deal and that stupid quote was never true.
Anyhow, I think it’s time for us to finally have an attack map with full rts controls, which is pretty hype for me at least. I think Ophi is currently setting up the not-skype call right now, so let me monologue some more. Ohhh, we got a fancy pink overlay for the crown call now, fancy~. Gouda is the capital of this island, or ‘level’ if you will, and is currently garrisoned by at least Bleu, some priest hero unit, and her hunky guard.
We’ve got a small army of Mushroom themed minions, with leaf-themed mounts and beasts. We’ve finally got a blacksmith running, so we have weapons more advanced than a fist or a big stick. Last I checked, we have swords, shields, lances, and artillery pieces ready and loaded on our troops as we speak. Not to mention our bonus units from Steam Lake Village, Some Phalanxshrooms!
In terms of naval strength we have…. A single smuggling vehicle.
…. Don’t you have a ship to be piloting?
Isn’t just attacking the wall enough for it to be a siege?
It could be, but generally, a siege is for when you encircle a fort and starve them out of it. Eventually, they need to leave their walls and fight you.
But, that does give them time to receive help, I had to learn that the hard way.
Wait, so why aren’t we doing that?
We have to run an assault because we don’t have any naval presence to block shipping. For some reason, the tower isn’t allowing us to build any docks either, so it’s not like we could delay until we have a navy.
That was actually smart!
This was my job.
Gouda has a strategic water reserve in its port.
We, they, had a pretty bad infection in the groundwater when I was young.
Wait, so they adapted and began shipping in water?
Tsk. Enemies that aren’t dumb are annoying.
We are approaching the end of the treeline! Prepare to advance!
Allow me to spare us Val’Mythra’s… unique accent and answer this one for you readers. With respect to the timing of our situation, the most efficient use of forge time was to armor our bigshrooms up. Compared to armoring our other unit types, they gain mere defense with regard to production time. Similarly, it is better to have 10 armored bigshrooms in terms of effective health than it is to have 6 armored and shield-wielding bigshrooms.
Also, I’m not fully convinced that bigshrooms are a unit type that can equip shields, but perhaps that’s something a more advanced unit could do. I’ll have to pull out the tech tree, and this really isn’t the time to stop paying attention. Remind me when we aren’t in the middle of a battle maybe?
I can spare a moment to answer this one!
The tools I would need to impart magic onto minions would require a mage’s tower, which is why it’s a tower upgrade and not just a thing I can do in my spare time.
Don’t worry, the moment I have access to a full tower I will take the chance to train some mage-shrooms!
Sorry, they need me on the front lines!
Finally, our small vanguard charged forward into the gates of Gouda. Even our small initial wave outnumbers our mousey foes. They’ve barely recovered from throwing their forces at our walls, something I take with justified glee. Our mushies are causing significant damage even with basic tier one tech.
Artillery! Fire at will!
Oh yes, and we have artillery now. This is a glorious day. More indiscriminate bombardments!
All excellent options, but I think our current artillery is more classic. We’ve had these little slime explosives made from leafling extract. A single blast may not be as potent direct leafling exposure, but volume of fire and cheap production more than make up for it. Soon you’ll find their troops growing less effective under our bombardment. Still not napalm and high explosives, but I’ll take what I can get….
What an excellent idea… for our next fight. I’m pretty sure unlocking a second minion faction isn’t a quick deal.
Sapphire, west flank!
From the north tundra, Basilisk’s breath!
Already on it, that is the standing plan.
Huff, do we have any intel on Speere? Is he okay??
They’ve gone dark, I’m not going to risk calling them in the middle of their infiltration.
Ignoring that this is not a warship, I’m not sure we want to have the little dudes slowly falling to the ground when their priest can detect stealth units.
We’ve sent them to sneak through the tunnels and sabotage their command center.
In those tunnels, the air is still and quiet. Only the dull echoes of firing artillery and screams linger at the edge of hearing. It is damp here, holding antediluvian secrets and legends. Each step echoes, even the steps of tiny mushies.
Suddenly, Speere declared there was to be light. Thus it was so. Rather, Speere used a oft-forgotten naturally monster ability, bioluminescence. Its noble mushie companions flank him, bulwarks against the unknown. And of course, an adorable leafling is there too.
I’ve got Mushminions patrolling around the tower with full spell support. No one is taking the tower from behind! Just leave it to me!
Oh you mean Steve and Kamusha? I gave them some when they left, but it’ll probably run out before they get into the city proper.
Wendy has my full trust to operate the tower. What are we doing on the docks front?
My plan is in the works right now, but –
Brilliant, what few prototype divershrooms still exist may as well make themselves useful!
Larhamal, remember it’s not an ancient hydrodock, it’s an astral one. There is no water there!
better we do not do that so…
‘Sides, until we have an ecosystem for the crabs, not sure we want to risk the irreplaceable divershrooms.
But our plan is still in the works.
Nevermind! Lupin, got some new commands for you!
HELL NO, I’m still paying my loan for this beauty.
Fine, the original plan.
That’s pretty much what Ophi already asked me to do. Repairs are much easier to stomach than a new ship.
I see, you are forcing them to mount at least a token resistance or we’ll be able to land some of our own forces directly in the commercial sector.
Are you complimenting me or explaining to our readers?
I can do more than one thing.
Rifleshrooms, Fire at Will!
Lupin you are still on comms!
Our main force is ready for the main push! Waiting on your order Ophi!
Of course we shall. Just take a look at Mordred’s force, the main body of our offense. Legions of our gifted Phalanxshrooms. With new archershrooms and deadly slayershrooms, our combat potential has soared to an officially threatening level. Not to mention the Skellies that Mordred has summoned to bulk up our front line with some extra tankiness.
Finally minions worthy of being called soldiers!
These cute little archers are ready to claim Gouda for us! Just look at their little hats, so full of determination. Get ready men! We march!
Good old siege, just like the old times!
For Lewds, For Freedom, For COOKIES!~
Right! I should have mentioned those, but we’ve not been on the frontline in a while so it must have slipped my mind.
I’ve been fond of the longshot personally.
She’s the bitch who should be scared! She’ll have a full course of knuckle sandwiches!
As long as you don’t get surrounded and taken out.
Hey, I was held up by the secretaries, what exactly is my role here?
I’ve got a map for you Hana, let me send it to you.
We are keeping you in reserve. With your frankly obscene mobility, you can quickly travel to each front to account for any surprises they have in store for us.
It’s like what Aurik did at the battle of Snakeriver.
I’m not Aurik, Larhamal, I’m better used behind enemy lines wreaking havoc. Are you sure you want to use me this way?
I’m not sure who Aurik was, but we don’t have anyone else who can do this.
How are the other fronts looking? Are we good to engage?
We’ve kicked the hornet’s nest here! Please pull some attention off us!
Their wall is in danger of falling, you won’t get a better time.
Wait, how are we breaking down the wall? I didn’t get any artillery.
I finally spent my skill point, that’s how.
What skill Ophi will unlock?
- Lust blast - focus your lust power to create a powerfull beam of lust energy (57%, 95 Votes)
- Leg enhancement - you can jump 4 times higher and ignore all kinds of fall damage. your kicks are 10 times stronger (28%, 47 Votes)
- Tentacle shield - use your darkness tentacles to form a powerfull shield (15%, 25 Votes)
Total Voters: 167
Is our generator division ready?
I would say so.
Not as much Lust as I hoped, but it’ll do.
We are going, get ready to occupy the city! We need a solid perimeter!
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
From our followers, each bead of lust builds and flows back into the hearth. It bubbles there, growing from the power our tower already held, before flowing through Larhamal with even greater force. Before Ophi’s breasts, the lusts condenses…
This is less than you hoped for? What did you want to draw two dicks instead?
More is always better I say!
What sage insight you have, I should listen to you more!
Really? Do you mean that?
Ignore Ophi! That was awesome!
Yeah! That was crazy cool boss!
Wait, watch out Ophi!
You will not escape again, fool!
A sudden reveal, Bleu strikes from the shadows!
From behind? Again?
Only to be foiled at the last moment! With a matching burst of speed, our Death Knight rushes forward!
Seriously, learn a new trick already….
Ha! I’ve got you! Your tiny sticks won’t do anything against me.
Finally some action!
This ends here Bleu! You are surrounded!
Fool girl, I’m here because I don’t matter! Capture me if you want, it changes nothing!
Meanwhile on Ceres’ front.
Watch out! I’m detecting Holy Magic!
Wait, since when did Ludias have a holy bonus to damage?
A tremendous blast of force throws the giant mech backwards. Scores of tiny mushminions get tossed about, barely slowing the tumbling giant. Puritanical energies waft off Ludias, causing lingering burns to dance across the thick steel.
Deep inside Ludias’ heavy metal frame, his small powercore spurts and shudders as the last dregs of power escape it. With that, Ludias’ health falls to zero and he is broken. May he rest in the true sleep, and return to us with a slightly more resilient build that can survive…
Erm, how much damage was that?
Oh Geez, ahem. Four d10 holy damage.
Eyes up front! That wasn’t a trap!
The walls crack as a monster of paladin squeezes through the tight passageway. With gleaning white armor and a sword the size of a bigshroom, the hero towers over the walls of Gouda. Even the bigshrooms crack under the stress,their morale dropping perilously low.
Ophi we underestimated the priest guard, it’s becoming a giant problem.
Busy can’t talk! Bleu is a pain in my ass.
In the quiet of the tunnels, Steve should be able to hear any foe long before they get close enough to be dangerous. Yet, something in the murk of these caves brings a moment of hesitation to his spore. Rather than a sign of a foe, it is the lack of evidence that worries him now. A flex of his connection with the tower, and he calls Ophi.
We have no contact with the ninja, but they can’t have many ground troops left. Just be careful and get your mission done Steve.
Deep beneath the earth, within those halls, a foe most cunning lurks. For our mushroom heroes, the path is lit, clear. They must overcome that which has escaped once the net. What shall victory herald, the fall of mice or the rise of shrooms, only time shall tell…
I’ve got eyes on the priest, she’s at the docks. You’re good to engage with your skeletons!
While no wave carries them, our brave buccaneers sail with a cabin of soldiers and cunning unmatched. The constant fire of our minions forces the mice to hide behind cover, or fall to the lustinite rounds and join our followers. Beneath deck Pudding and the rest of Lupin’s crew keep the mush minions busy and in order. They have come far from the dark forests and caves they grew up in, and know little of sailing.
Copy that! Keep her pinned down.
Since when did PRIESTS FLY?
Next Team, get up there! We need more rifles above deck!
I can’t help you Luppin, take care of it!
What the fuck is she-
Capt’n, we got shot through. Stern is losing air.
We lost pitch control! Going leeward drift!
What the fuck kind of Priest are you?! That wasn’t healing!
That wasn’t even like a holy smite!
Ah boss? Orders?
Cut the left sail to three, and yaw us up.
WHAT KIND OF PRIEST HAS A LASER?!
The priest is a bigger deal than we thought, can I get any of that assistance?
Mordred! Cover me a moment.
Damn it Lupin, hold the priest off! I’ll get to you when I can.
Alright ground team, if someone gets into Gouda, try to encircle that priest.
I’m ready to go, where do you want me?
Ow, Mordred I said cover me!
Viewers get Hana moving, I DO NOT HAVE TIME!
So it seems the lines have been drawn and the melee joined! Wherever shall our battle-hardened Swordmage go? Shall she charge heads first into the looming paladin? Circle round and corner the slippery Bleu? Or even tunnel down and support our dear Steve?
That is for YOU to decide. Seriously, Ophi is kinda busy, she can’t stop us.
For now, I think our budget can only handle so many synchronized fights, so next time join us for the battle of the tunnels. Steve, Kamusha and Speere, versus the Mouse Ninja! If we aren’t sending Hana down there, what are we doing to help the three cute ones? Should we trust the foul Kamusha’s copyright infringement to save the day? Or perhaps one of you lot are cleverer than I and have a plan.